Bonding in the NICU
Every parent dreams of the moment they get to hold their precious little one for the first time. Unfortunately, for some parents, this moment never comes to fruition. When giving birth to a premature, medically fragile baby, your perfect moment may become filled with a host of nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, and other medical professionals whisking away your precious little one to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). Although it may feel like your opportunity to bond with your baby has been stripped away from you, be reassured it's only the beginning of your journey. There are many ways to bond in the NICU; here are my top 10 tips for creating a lifelong bond with your baby.
10 Tips for Bonding in the NICU
Touch
Tip #1- don’t be afraid to touch your baby when it is safe. Touching your baby may be one of the easiest ways to bond with them. You can positively touch your baby by holding their hand, stroking their forehead, rubbing their feet, and participating in bath time. Infant massage has been proven to have many positive benefits for NICU babies, including increasing infant-parent interaction, weight gain, and improved sleep. Touching your baby can also calm your baby when in mild distress. One of a parent's best experiences is holding their baby for the first time. When it is safe, your nurses can help you hold your baby as often as you would like. Skin-to-skin contact has too many positive benefits for a NICU to name, including regulating body temperature, improving heart rates, improving immunity, and even decreasing the chance of death.
Learn
Tip #2- learn about all the wires, alarms, and equipment. There will be a lot of wires hanging, loud alarms beeping, and the room will be filled with large scary-looking equipment; the NICU can be an intimidating place to try to bond with your baby. You don’t have to become a nurse in your spare time, but if you generally know what is happening, being in the NICU is not as frightening. However, although you know about the equipment, ensure you never silence an alarm or mess with the equipment and let your nurse handle it.
Breastfeeding
Tip #3- breast milk! Mother’s milk is not called liquid gold for no reason. Breastmilk is the perfect nutrition for all babies but maybe even more important for a premature, medically fragile baby. Breastmilk protects from many illnesses, diseases, allergies, and infections. Breastmilk provides infants with the fats essential for brain and cognitive development through the infant stages. It even protects infants from necrotizing enterocolitis, or NEC, a gastro illness many babies in the NICU suffer from. The best part is that even if your baby cannot suck from the breast or bottle, they can receive all these benefits through whichever is the best feeding method. However, when you can put your baby on the breast and try it, there are several benefits for mom and baby’s healing.
Be Present in the Moment
Tip #4- be present in the moment. There will be a lot going on in the NICU, from all the noises and professionals coming in and out; try to take the time to find peace in the moment with your baby. Reducing the distractions you can control, such as putting down your phone while you spend time with your baby, can increase the quality of bonding time with your baby.
Bringing Home to Baby and Baby to Home
Tip #5- bring home to baby and baby to home. It is perfectly fine to decorate your room, put family pictures up, have older siblings or cousins draw pictures for the baby, and bring in baby blankets or clothes. Make your room YOUR room. On the other hand, if you cannot stay in the hospital with your baby, take pictures of them and put them up at home.
Soft Music
Tip #6- play soft music. When possible, play soft music to calm your baby. You can even hum along to the music so they can hear you. The music may even calm your baby so much that you can hold them.
Talk to Baby
Tip #7- talk to your baby. Take every moment you can to let your baby know you are there. Hearing your voice can calm your baby, give them a sense of safety knowing their parents are close by, and even builds brain development. Don’t know what to say? Reading a book or singing your favorite song is perfectly fine.
Leave your Scent
Tip #8- leave your scent. Wrapping the baby in a blanket after you have slept with it can help your baby learn your scent. Learning your scent increases your baby’s ability to recognize you increasing their attachment.
Eye Contact
Tip #9- make eye contact. Baby’s love staring deep into your eyes. Making eye contact with your baby increases your emotional connection. Research has shown through eye contact that babies connect with their parent’s brain waves, increasing their neurodevelopment and ability to pick up on facial cues.
Become Comfortable
Tip #10- become comfortable. You may spend an extended time in the NICU, so you must become comfortable. Learn your nurse’s names, find the showers, learn how to order food, and participate during doctor's rounds. One of the most important things you can do during your stay in the NICU is to take care of yourself! If you are not taking time for self-care, you will not be able to be present in the moment (tip #4) or care for your baby.
If you find your new baby having to spend time in the NICU, remember bonding at home or in the NICU is an individual process. Even if these tips are not for your family, something is, ask your nurses for methods they have used in the past to help parental bonding.
Happy Bonding!
